Evidently worse than zombies

So I hear that fat people are now a major factor contributing to global warming? I'm sorry, but please excuse me while I haul my giggly legs up on my soapbox and rant.

How convenient that scientists have determined fat people are to blame for much of global warming. Don't get me wrong...I'm not arguing that the way our society consumes food isn't detrimental to the environment, but the study in question makes so many broad assumptions. First off, thinner people don't necessarily consume a lot of food? I know plenty of thin people who eat just as much as your normal fat person. Oh, and let's examine this whole argument that fat people are more apt to drive and not walk. Maybe the scientists should visit my neighborhood and see that, while you may see thin people jogging or walking that 2-mile loop (and we'll ignore the fact that there are larger people doing it, too), they are also just as guilty of hopping in the SUV and driving 2 blocks to pick up groceries. Oh! Oh! I know! If we like stereotypes, what about the fact that I bet thin people are more apt to get married and have sex! This means they are more likely to procreate and have children. Great...more people on the earth to feed and to produce CO2. Damn you, thin people.

If scientists are looking for additional targets, why not look to gardners? Just look at all of the water they waste trying to keep their suburban lawns green. Speaking of green, scientist might want to have a go at golfers for perpetuating the environmental blight known as the golf course. In fact, why don't we let the owners factories, power plants, etc. off the hook and just target rich people? Their need to consume things and buy useless goods has to have a much bigger impact on the environment than your run of the mill fat person. Oh! I've got it! Maybe poor people should be to blame. Studies will probably tell you that they consume more fast food and keep McDonalds, Wendys, and that damn Taco Bell dog in business, and we all know how bad that is after reading Fast Food Nation.

Get a clue. We all suck. We all contribute. And, as for those scientists, they can kiss my big, fat...