Over the past couple of weekends, I've been a bit indulgent with my time, spending more than a few hours* beating the heat at local movie theaters. Toward the end of White House Down (don't judge), I sat in the dark theater, tears sliding down my face as Channing Tatum's onscreen daughter stands on the lawn of the White House whipping an American flag back and forth (uh...spoiler alert?). The idea for this post came as I realized I'd been silently composing an email to my friend Allie to put that morning's tears in perspective.
You see, I am a crier. My tear ducts betray me when I'm angry, happy or sad; during shows, commercials or especially moving So You Think You Can Dance routines; while reading books or listening to storytelling podcasts; or (*drumroll*) while at the movies. It's a familial trait**, so I tended not to think too much of it until the afternoon I found myself watching Swing Vote with Allie. Instead of silent drops that can be discreetly brushed away, my fist was practically shoved in my mouth to quiet the moaning, ugly sobs emanating from my body. I was aware of exactly how embarrassing and ridiculous I was being, and yet, I could do nothing to stem the flow. I'm pretty sure Allie thought I'd finally had a nervous breakdown.
Later, I realized the link between many of my more extreme movie-crying experiences is Kevin Costner. So, without further adieu, I bring you my top five Kevin Costner-Ugly Cry marathon picks.
1. Swing Vote
2. For Love of the Game
3. Dances with Wolves
4. The Guardian
5. The Bodyguard
Yes, I'm the sap that is to blame for the fact that the hard-hearted masses must suffer through scene after cheesy scene pandering to the most base emotions.
*White House Down, World War Z, The Heat and Pacific Rim
**Lord help those of you sharing a couch with my family during holiday movie season.