While some little girls dreamed of babies and families, I gazed out the window at the weathered concrete deer in our front yard and spun stories for myself of careers and adventure. I was going to be an author and then a doctor/author and then a lawyer/author and then a foreign service officer. Flash forward several (several) years and water is my game. I'm lucky enough to use science and laws and words to fix rivers.
Suddenly, after almost 13 years, I'm being asked to try something different. Take a break. As of today, I'm officially on a two-month paid sabbatical. I've struggled with how to write this post because I realize I'm incredibly lucky to have a job where I get this opportunity, and don't get me wrong. I am supercalifragilisticexpialidocious-level excited. The big BUT in the room is that stepping away from my projects, responsibilities and being in the know is hard. Actually, it's practically physically uncomfortable for my type-A personality (can one by a shy, type-A introvert...because hello). And, if I'm being really honest, there's a little fear that I won't be missed, that the people filling in for me will do so a good a job that I won't be needed.
Logically, I realize I'm being ridiculous, but there's generally no room for logic when packing emotional baggage. Combine those little nagging feelings with a marathon number of days trying to tie up loose ends and make sure everyone has all the information they'll need, and you can imagine how high strung I've been these last few days. I did a little talking to God yesterday, and I have a feeling that there's going to be some personal growth over the next two months ;-)
Now that we've gotten my issues out of the way, let's talk about how stoked I am to have time--and not just that time you have to steal at the end of the night--to write and to fan the flames of all of those ideas. Hell, I might even get all hashtag crazy! I have visions of waking up early to walk to the coffee shop and write through the morning, leaving my afternoons for reading or some other kind of creating. There may be some traveling, but I'm likely saving that for later this summer. Maybe I'll just embrace being a woman of leisure.